It all starts a few months ago after a conversation with another homeschooling mom. She has seven kids, including a set of twins. We are talking about an upcoming picnic that is starting at 7:30pm. I mention I am not too interested in going because my kids' bedtime is eight o'clock and I don't want grumpy, tired children at a picnic (plus I'm not that fond of big get togethers anyway). This starts another conversation about how she always expects her kids to fit into her schedule, not to fit her life around her kids' schedule. This includes spontaneous trips to Eagle Island instead of school work and having her kids nap in their car seats if they aren't home during nap time.
This appeals to me somewhat as I am heavily structured. We are home every day from 12:30-3:30 so the babies can nap. We do our school work in the morning and I don't even consider going to the park first. I have lunch on the table at noon and dinner on the table at 6:00. If I don't have dinner on the table until 6:15 it totally stresses me out. So this mom's flexible schedule, which she manages with her seven, seems like bliss. The idea takes a while to germinate but I decide this week to be more flexible.
Monday and Tuesday I stick to my schedule and Tuesday night I decide to try this flexibility thing for the rest of the week. My visiting teachers asked if they could come over Wednesday morning and I agree, even though in the past I've asked them to come in the afternoon so we wouldn't interrupt school time. So Wednesday dawns and because Michael came home late and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep I am beyond sleep deprived, but we need groceries.
So instead of waiting until after naptime I decide I can be flexible and go to the store. I get the troops gathered with shoes, socks, coats, semi-clean clothes, brushed hair and start to head out the door. The house is in shambles with clothes and toys everywhere and dirty dishes in the sink. But it's okay - I'm flexible. I have my wallet, the diaper bag, the grocery bags and I open my door where I see my lovely visiting teacher coming up the sidewalk. So I let her in to the disaster that is my house and take off everyone's coats. After a nice visit I load everyone back up and head out.
I get to WinCo at 11:30 and know I have to book it. I run through that store pushing a big red cart loaded with kids and groceries. I'm sweating as I'm bagging groceries. I manage to get home at 12:30, throw some PB&J at the kids, put away the perishables, let my mom in, and shove the older kids into the car and get to piano lessons by 1:00. My poor mother has to put the babies down for a nap because I don't have time. No school work gets done and Wednesday is over and no one dies.
Not having learned my lesson I decided I could be flexible on Thursday as well. We have homeschool co-op until 2:00 and the kids have standardized testing at 3:45. Any other week I would have rustled up a babysitter so I could put the babies down for nap as soon as we got home from co-op and let the babysitter stay with the sleeping babies while I took the kids in for their testing. But this week I'm being flexible! I figure the babies can nap while we are running around. Cue half-crazed laugh.
I end up at the office with two toddlers who haven't napped at all and are on the warpath. To add to the misery Libby is freaking out about the test. She refuses to even take it. After having her brother go first she says she will take the test if I go in with her. So I haul Grace and Sam into a small office while Libby takes her reading and math tests.
This takes a total of 15 minutes. In this time Sam slams the door numerous times until Grace helpfully locks the door. Then Grace and Sam decide to push a chair up the light switch and try to flip it on and off and manhandle the oil paintings hanging on the wall. I snag them down with Grace vainly reassuring me that "I fine, mama. I fine." Sam then proceeds to play with the metal blinds. Please remember Libby is trying to take a test she doesn't even want to take while all this is going on, plus I am trying to be quiet and keep the babies quiet. Sam manages to find a power strip and flip it off before I get to him. It of course holds the cord that goes to the test administrator's computer. I flip it back on quickly, dying a little inside all the while.
The test is finally about over and Sam and Grace have exhausted the joy of the swivel chair so I send them out into the lobby with Ethan to wait. There Sam decides to empty the water cooler. Then we have to wait to go over the test results. I load everyone in the car at 5:00 and head for home. Once again the babies do not nap in the van. It is quite possible the longest evening. Ever.
It took two days but I may have learned something. I keep everyone on a schedule for my well being, not theirs. It's easy for me to judge myself against how others are doing things. What I learned this week is if what I'm doing works for me, don't change it. I need a schedule or we will all end up in the loony bin, sleep-deprived and with gum in our hair.
5 comments:
I think maybe we should have been sisters! Nobody ever understnds why I stick to schedules like I do- it's for my sanity! It's taken me a lot longer than it should have for me to realize that just because it works for someone else doesn't mean I have to make it work for me.
I finally got your post read. LOL I say do what works best for your family, and most importantly, you. We can't all be flexible. Nothing would get done in the world.
I just LOVE reading your blog. It makes me smile and laugh as you share your life! Being flexible obviously has a cost to some of us.. Glad you figured out that you can be YOU!
HA HA HA HA! Oh, this was REALLY funny to me! Thanks for taking the time to express yourself so well. REALLY enjoyed reading this and can relate on so many levels.
I'm a scheduler too.
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