Brand New Things

With all my kids in public school this year, I wasn't sure what to expect for myself. I still watch my great nephew, help my mom, and run the household, but I wanted something outside the house. I finally applied to be a substitute teacher, primarily because the schedule is so flexible. 

I filled out an application online and had an appointment to complete new hire paperwork within four days. No interview, no resume, no nothing. My employment was contingent on a background check, but it seems a bachelor's degree and a clean background were the only qualifications needed. I attended a three-hour training seminar, where I learned the answer to all problems is to "call the office" and they released me into the world of subbing. It seems our school district is pretty hard up for substitute teachers.

The first day I packed a lunch, my badge, some headache meds, a crochet project for if there was down time, a book, and headed into the world. I subbed for a 5th/6th grade combo at my kids elementary. It was a pure, unmediated disaster. The regular teacher is a first year teacher, so he was still working on classroom management. At least four of the kids spoke almost no English, while another four kids spoke passable English. I was constantly mixing them up. The class was constantly lining up for 5th grade PE, then 6th grade PE, then 5th grade orchestra, then 6th grade orchestra, then band, then reading groups, then math groups. These kids spent all day lining up and I couldn't remember which ones were in 5th and which were in 6th, and the English language learners didn't even know which class they were in.

When we all had to line up (in alphabetical order) for school pictures, two of the boys decided they had no patience left and grabbed each other and starting tussling. I asked the photographer assistant in the hall to get someone from the office to help (remembering my "Call the office!" training), as I separated the fighting boys from the rest of the class. The boys heard "office," jumped away from each other and docilely followed the woman to the counselor's office.

I did not find any time to read, but I found plenty of time to take some Excedrin Migraine. By the end of the day I was a hot sweaty mess and the kids weren't doing much better. I went home, took a bath, and cried. I was determined to never substitute again.  Since then I have subbed at the junior high several times, the high school a couple, various elementary schools and a lot of special ed classrooms. Special ed are my favorite. Some of the kids have a hard time in a regular classroom, but I am never responsible for more than three or so at a time. They are heaven after my first day experience.

The pay is lousy, some of the kids are awful, and some days are horrible. But most of the kids are pretty awesome (at all ages) and some days just fly by.  Also I can choose which days to work, so I will continue to sub for the foreseeable future. But I'll never, ever accept a sub position for the 5th/6th grade class. I'm not quite brave enough to try it again.