Alternate title: A Journey in Forceful Expulsions from the Human Body
Sunday afternoon we packed up and headed home. Sam rode with Krys and Mom for the first few hours, to give us a little more elbow room in the van. We drove to Salt Lake with minimal stops and delays. Once near Salt Lake City, though, we did make a pit stop at IKEA. We decided to do a little bit of shopping, and pick up food from the food court on our way out.
The kids weren't feeling the adventure of IKEA. Then the food court was entirely out of pizza and almost out of hotdogs. It was a rough stop. Ethan also started feeling sick to his stomach. Everyone was turning grumpy and tired, which I assumed was from a lot of travel in a short time span.
Sam wanted to travel in the van the rest of the way home. Krys was looking for a second driver, so Michael took off with all the kids, and I drove off with Mom and Krys. Then things in the van got real, real fast. Michael was pulling off at every freeway exit for the teenagers to make mad bathroom dashes. The trash can in the van caught more than just an occasional dirty napkin. It was a symphony of stomach and bowel rebellion.
Meanwhile, Krys, mom, and I were traveling in blissful ignorance. By the time I learned the van passengers had a stomach bug, food poisoning, or possibly the plague, there was nothing I could do. I just kept driving my plague-free vehicle down the freeway. Michael kept visiting all the bathrooms of Utah and Idaho. I think I got the better end of the deal.
I made it to Boise shortly after midnight, and found myself locked out of the house. I rested in the hammock until the rest of the family limped into town, almost an hour later. There was a mad rush to the bathroom and shower and then everyone collapsed for the night. Vacation was well and truly over.
