Lice, and Laundry, and Bear Spray, Oh my....

I would have happily taken lions, and tigers, and bears.  It would have been simpler.

A couple weeks ago my head was itching fiercely.  Out of desperation I asked Michael to check my head to see if I had a rash.  Nope, I had lice.  It was horrifying. We checked the kids.  Sam and the girls had lice.  We all had lice!  Where, why, how?  After a flurry of unanswerable questions, I went a little crazy.  I bought RID, I bought tea tree oil, I bought mayonnaise.  I bought a nit comb.  I blow dried everyone's hair. I did every treatment the internet suggested, medical professionals and bloggers alike.  I listened to friends who fought lice before.  I went nuclear on the little bugs. I washed ten loads of laundry.  I ran all the stuffed animals and pillows through the dryer.  Hats and bike helmets got cleaned or put away. All the brushes and combs got washed and put through the dryer.  Heat kills lice!

After the first couple of days of insect genocide, Michael found the Nuvo Method of lice removal.  I was impressed with the statistics and scientific testing.  For the subsequent treatments, we switched gears and used the Nuvo method which requires brushing a certain brand of cleanser through the hair and then blow-drying it until completely dry.  While this is highly effective, it is more time consuming.  Look at her hair.  Treating her hair took years off mine and Michael's lives.

We persevered.  Everyone is fully treated.  There have been no more occurrences of bugs.  I realize most people have had to deal with lice at some point in their life.  Hopefully this was my time and I can now be done with it.  Having to rewash all their bedding every week has just about killed me.  I told the kids that next time we are just shaving everyone's head and moving to a hotel for three weeks.  They did not appreciate my suggestion.

***

Just over a week after the discovery of lice, but completely unrelated, Grace and Sam were playing in the backyard.  I was on my way to call them in when I heard screaming and wailing.  Sam was crying and saying he was sorry and Grace was crying loud enough that I figured we were heading for the ER.  They came in crying and screaming while Sam kept sobbing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry".  I couldn't see any obvious injuries, so I asked what happened.  Grace choked out, "Sam sprayed me in the eyes with bug spray!"

I hurried her to the bathroom, had her lean over the tub, and started spraying her eyes with the shower wand.  I asked Sam to go find the bug spray.  He left only to come back thirty seconds later sobbing that he couldn't find it and his eyes stung.  So I leaned him over the tub and alternated spraying their eyes.  Meanwhile my eyes and throat started to burn, my nose was running and my eyes were tearing up.  I could not figure out why bug spray would be so potent and why Grace and Sam were still nearly hysterical.  I asked Sam where he had found the bug spray and Grace sobbed out, "I said *bear* spray, not bug spray."  Everything started to make more sense now.

I continued spraying them down while hollering at my phone to find the number of poison control.  I love "OK, Google"! I knew bear spray was non-toxic but I figured poison control might have some advice on how to get all of the bear spray off the kids.  While still spraying their eyes and waiting for the call to connect, I started stripping the clothes off the kids to get them fully in the tub.  This called for a complete detox.  Plus the bathroom floor was starting to look like a lake.

The nice lady at poison control suggested rubbing alcohol would help with the burn.  I rubbed some all over Grace's very red and blotchy face and she immediately stopped crying, "That does feel better," she stated in a perfectly calm voice.  Hallelujah! We rubbed some on her shoulders and hands as well as her hair (take that any remaining lice: bear spray and alcohol!).  I then rubbed Sam down with alcohol.  We may have all been a little loopy from the fumes but there was a lot less pain.

After putting all their clothes and towels in the wash (yay, for more laundry!) I finally got the whole story.  Michael had been rearranging the shed and camping supplies.  He had left the bear spray, that we had taken to Yellowstone several years ago, on a workbench and warned to kids to leave it alone.  Grace and Sam found it.  Sam swore it was bear spray.  Grace thought it looked like a water bottle.  They argued.  Sam decided to prove himself right and sprayed the bear spray away from them (I shudder to think what a full blast would have been like).  Sam won the argument but they both ended up losing.