I'm Not Going to Be Okay

For so many years I have been full-time-momming it. This is what I have dedicated my time and energy toward. This year Ethan had the audacity to turn 16, and I'm not sure I'm going to survive. I believe I am having an existential crisis.  He's now old enough to date, drive a car (in the nearish future), and make all his own plans. He has his own Google calendar that is synced with mine and Michael's, so we know where he his. He is so busy he needs his own calendar! 

I love that he is so grown up, but I also hate it. I want to sit all my kids down and read picture books to them again. I want to go on bike rides where they have fun and I can pile tired kids into my bike. I want them to stop growing. Also, I love that they are growing. I love his independence, his passion for life, talking about and sharing novels we are reading with each other and planning seventy mile bike rides. Yep, I'm having a crisis.

He's possibly only home for two and half more years. Then he will be going on a mission, going to college, dating lots of girls, and spending birthdays with everyone but his parents. How did this happen? I'm pretty sure there are dozens of country songs written on this very topic. These people just keep growing. It's beautiful and also scary.

So let's step away from my drama and focus on what is important. Ethan turned 16! He has not gone on a date yet. He's trying to figure out how to pay for insurance, so he can get his driver's license so he can go on dates without his mom driving. Being a teenager is complicated.

He was very excited to receive wireless earbuds! Then he spent hours trying to get the right one to work. Then he contacted customer support. They kindly put new ones in the mail. We then discovered the earbuds paired easily with his dad's phone. Then we realized it was Ethan's phone that was the problem. Ethan then had a bit of an existential crisis of his own. He then added a new phone to the list of things he is saving for. Being a teenager is also expensive.

He was also crazy excited for a hanging shoe organizer. And for socks. He's becoming an old man before his time.

He got a nifty new lunch tiffin.

And another graphic tee. Popeye is spinning some records on this one. He loves the vintage feel shirts.

He also received a ton of cash and gift cards from his aunts and uncles. He is debating what to do with them, but he may be using them to help pay for his new phone.

Here is to his sweet sixteen. I hope the year treats him well. He seems pleased with it so far.

One Week, Six Concerts, Still Alive to Tell the Tale

Monday started with Ethan singing at Winter Garden Aglow at the Botanical Gardens with his school men's choir. We were not able to go because Libby and Michael were rehearsing for Libby's choir concert later across town. I just drove everyone around. That was my job this week. I was the unpaid and unappreciated chauffeur. 

Tuesday we attended Libby's orchestra concert. We didn't manage to get photos, but they did a great job. I was busy threatening Grace and Sam with practicing concert behavior at home if they didn't start behaving. Hence, the lack of photos. Libby has loved orchestra for years, but her passion is starting to wane. This may have been her last orchestra performance, and I didn't even get any photos. Sad day.

Wednesday night we attended Ethan's choir concert. I didn't have to threaten the younger children even once. Ethan's choir teacher loves to create great music that is as fun to listen to as to watch. There were candles, movement, even a young man dancing in a tutu while the male choir ding donged their way through Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. 

Ethan sang in the majority of pieces because he is in three different choirs. Three! It's insane. He has decided to drop one from his schedule after this semester, saints be praised.  We laughed, we applauded, we hugged random people and then we went home.

Ethan stoically played the tambourine (front and center of above photo).  He assured us he smiled more on the second night. He was just a little worried about messing up.

Thursday afternoon Grace and Sam had a performance, thankfully together. Grace played cello with the orchestra, and considering these kids have only been playing a few months, they did great. Each piece was recognizable and there was very little screeching from the violins.

Sam then sang with the honor choir, a group of kids who give up a couple lunch recesses a week to rehearse. Sam and his friend were the only boys among a sea of girls. All the kids sang their hearts out. We all clapped for our cutie kids, and then I gathered my kids and we headed home.

A few hours later on Thursday evening Ethan had another choir performance, which we missed because we were at Libby's choir performance. She is in the audition choir, with a new choir teacher (her 3rd in 3 years). Despite all the changes this choir has had thrust upon them, they are still amazing. Libby and four of her friends sang "White Winter Hymnal" and brought down the house. I'm not bragging when I say they got the most applause of any group. They took a difficult piece and presented it with confidence. She has worked countless hours on it and I was so proud to see all her work pay off.

Her with the rest of her choir. She's in the middle left; look for the voluminous hair.

This was her ensemble group. The beginning was a little rocky, but they got it figured out, and people loved it!

I'm so grateful my kids are involved in school activities. Students who are involved tend to get better grades and feel better about school. I'm thankful my kids have found something they love. I've had to keep reciting these words in my head this week as I drove kids from one practice to another. Concert season is lovely, but at points I thought I was going to die of exhaustion. But it's almost over, and I'm still alive!

The Video

The girls chose their music, learned it on their own time, studied the clapping, auditioned found matching white dresses (almost causing some mothers to murder their teens), and then performed. This was entirely student-led. I was so proud of how hard Libby worked, although the constant clapping almost drove me around the bend.

They start out a little flat, but they got it back together at the oohs.I was amazed at the skill these young girls were able to share.  Great job, girls!

The Tree That Shall Not be Named

Two days after we cut the tree we managed to get it in the house. Two days later we managed to decorate it.

We only put on a few of our ornaments, because our tree isn't quite studly enough for many more.

Unlike last year, the kids did not name our tree. It's a poor sad tree that doesn't even get a name. Cutting our own tree seems to be losing a bit of it's charm.

After a little research it was determined it was Ethan's turn to put the angel on the tree. We also realized that this may be his last turn with this family tradition, as it comes only once every four years for each child. Ethan insisted Michael lift him up to crown the tree.

Michael obliged, although he may have wished he hadn't. It took several minutes to get enough branches bunched together to even support the angel. They managed though and the angel is proudly gracing our Christmas sapling.

For context, Michael is 6 feet tall, Ethan is slightly taller than that, and our ceiling is 7.5 feet tall.

Bad Decisions

Sam is in 4th grade. That means Sam gets a permit to cut a Christmas tree, courtesy of the National Parks Service! For free! He was very excited. The rest of us have the memory of previous year's tree cuttings to temper our excitement. Sam would not be deterred. 

Bad Decision #1

Letting our nine year old convince us to go get a free tree.

We did find some new tire chains on Craigslist for $40, so we bought them before we headed up (making the tree totally not free).  Which leads to the next bad decision.

Bad Decision #2 

Not putting the chains on when we turned off the main road.

As we continued into the mountain Michael kept commenting on how great our van was handling the snow and I just clutched the arm rest. (Michael's note: It was!)

Bad Decision #3

We just kept going.

Further and further up the road we went. The road started to get pretty steep and there was a lack of places to turn around. So we decided to do a careful U-turn and head back down the mountain. The careful U-turn was much more difficult on a slick mountain road than in town. Thankfully we didn't slide off the mountain, thanks to a giant berm of snow, which our front end was now buried in.

Bad Decision #4

See #2. We now could not get the snow chains on the second wheel and we didn't bring a shovel. 

Ten minutes later, as Michael is attempting to put chains on a buried tire, two forest service personnel showed up. They offered us a shovel and we started digging. Another person going up the road, which we were sideways across, stopped to offer help. He had a winch in his truck. He hooked the winch to his truck and to our van. We were now completely blocking the entire road! It was awesome. He slowly started inching us out while Ethan, the forest service employees, and I pushed the van into a downhill position. Despite my severe embarrassment, we did manage to start heading downhill. Michael drove down the hill with the three younger kids and after I found Ethan, we followed on foot and met up in the large, easily accessible pull out we had driven past.

We marveled at the beautiful snow. The kids loved that on the top layer you could see each individual snowflake.

This is a bad close up of the snow. It was quite beautiful in person, but alas my photography is lacking. By this point, happily, we were past the majority of the of our mistakes. Now it was time to find a perfect tree.  Ethan hiked up to then followed the ridge as it climbed above the path. Michael hiked far up the trail.

Meanwhile everyone else was giving up.

Ethan finally found the perfect tree (or the least-sad looking one) and deemed it good. Michael had the saw though, so I went to find him. I got the saw and Michael, but climbing to the ridge was a futile task.

Sam kept going up and then falling back down. He persevered, though, and finally made the climb. Michael climbed part way and then threw the bow saw to Ethan. Despite all expectations to the contrary, nobody was harmed.

The boys worked together, cut down the tree, and managed to slide themselves and the tree to the path.

As Michael tied to tree to the van the kids pulled out the sleds and enjoyed a few runs on a very fast track (no pictures).

We finally made it to the van and poured hot chocolate for all the peoples. And it was good.

We got home only a mere two hours behind schedule and had a whole 20 minutes to untie the tree, shed our winter clothes, get three people showered, get everyone cleaned up and changed, make our food contributions and high tail it to the family dinner. We managed to make it only 15 minutes late. We will call it our Christmas Tree Miracle.