Homeschoolin'

Homeschooling has been on my mind a lot lately. I've had a couple of friends struggling with public school lately and wondering if homeschool would be right for their children. This has caused me to think about everything I've been told since I started this journey. I've been told I am ruining my children and public school is the only way. I've been told that homeschool is the only way to help our children succeed. I've been told that I must have the patience of a saint. I've listened as people tell me the various reasons they can't homeschool. I've been asked when I plan on putting my kids in public school. I've had people express concern when I mention ever putting my kids in public school. I've been commended, I've been vilified and I've been misunderstood. All of which I'm okay with (although I really don't like being attacked, but I will try to listen). I've listened because I feel pretty secure in my reasons for homeschooling but first let me get a couple things off my chest.

"You have the patience of a saint! I don't know what I would do if my kids were home all day."

Um...no, I don't. I have no patience. I think I may have missed the patience gene altogether. I am cranky and stressed a lot. I am not a go-with-the-flow type mom. I really, really want to be but I'm not there yet. I will probably figure it out about the time I send my last one to college. That being said there is a lot of things public school parents do that I couldn't handle. I would hate to make my kids sit down to homework after being in school all day. I figure if the school has my kids for six to seven hours then I should get them for the rest of the time. I like our evenings to be free. I like running my kids out to piano lessons at 1 in the afternoon so we can have family time when Michael gets home. I would rip my hair out if I had to help my kids with a project that we both view as busy work. And not strictly related to patience but I like not having to check their outfits every morning. At home they can wear what they want as long as it is seasonally appropriate. Yesterday it rained for the first time in over a month. The temp dropped almost 30 degrees from the day before. This meant my kids were playing outside in shorts, winter coats and snow boots. I pointed out it wasn't snowing and wasn't really cold enough for winter coats but they were undeterred. So they wore snow boots. Today Libby is wearing brown corduroy pants, a brown skirt, a brown shirt with pink hearts, and of course snow boots. I'm fine with it. But I know if I was sending her off to public school I would have to draw the line at a skirt over pants and the boots might not make it either. So I guess I don't have the patience to dress my kids when they have the ability (but maybe not the fashion sense) to do it themselves.

"What about socialization? I knew this family who homeschooled and their kids were weird!"

Yep, I knew the same family. In fact I'm related to those same families. And let me tell you something - they were weird when they were in public school, too. That's another story for another time though. What it boils down to is homeschoolers are a self-selecting group. Homeschoolers probably have a higher population of "weird" kids but we also have a large population of kids no one would ever guess are homeschooled. There is a reason we have more "weird" kids. Public school doesn't make allowances for who these kids are now or who they are going to grow up to be. Their parents see this early on and realize their kids will learn better and be more happy at home. And I must say I went to school with kids who had been going to public school all their life and they were "weird." One of my major joys of homeschooling is in letting my kids be the people God made them to be. At no other time in their life will they be expected to sit in a room with 30 other people their exact same age who know the exact same things that they know. Unless they work in a cubicle farm and who really wishes that for their little children? I want my kids to have the chance to develop their true passions and work on their weaknesses without measuring them against 30 other kids. Currently my kids spend time with kids their age through our homeschool co-op and church but they also spend time with people older and younger than them who they will happily relate to. And for better or worse my kids will learn most of their social skills from Michael and I, wherever they are schooled.

"When are you or why would you put your kids in public school?"

I have no idea. We take this a year at a time. Public school can offer many things that I can't. I don't think there is a right answer for every family. I don't think there is a right answer for every kid. I know families that homeschool some kids and send some to public school. I don't think public school is going to be the end of civilization or that the world will crumble and my kids will become indoctrinated with evil if they go to public school. I don't homeschool for religious reasons as many assume. I homeschool so I know my kids have a solid education foundation and a strong sense of self before I send them off in the world.

So I've asked myself why I continue homeschool when some days it is the hardest thing I do. The answer could fill a book but a big part is so my kids can learn when they are ready to learn. This year Ethan should be in 2nd grade. He reads books on a 5th/6th grade level for fun. He is doing multiplication and divisions. He can tell time to the minute. He just started third grade math. He loves science and will do science experiments all day long. Currently there is a chicken bone soaking in vinegar on my counter because he read about what would happen. He did on his own. He just asked me to find the vinegar for him. He is smart but...the boy can't spell to save his life. He hates writing. He struggles writing more than a few words at a time. His motor skills are still back in the 1st grade somewhere. I feel blessed to homeschool him. I love watching him figure things out and I don't have to worry too much about the things he struggles with. It's okay that his skills are uneven. We work ahead in some areas and we give extra time to the areas he struggles in.

Libby is a whole different story. She just turned six at the end of August. That makes her a very young first grader. Libby loves to run, she loves the monkey bars, she loves to take care of her siblings, she makes friends easily. She can fry an egg by herself. She can tell time to the 1/2 hour, she can add and subtract single digits, she can count to 200 by 1s, 5s, and 10s. She is very coordinated and...she hates reading. She hates math, she pretty much hates everything but spelling. Strangely enough she loves spelling and writing. She will shut down and not even try to read because she is so afraid of not being able to do it right the first time. She is also really good at pretending to get something even if she doesn't. I find it a blessing to homeschool her because I can reward and praise her for trying. She is starting to learn that it doesn't matter if she gets the right answer the first time; what matters is the effort she is putting in.

So that in a nutshell is why I homeschool. I am not patient, I am not creative, I am not organized, I am not anti-public school. I am just a mother who is doing what is best for my family. I don't think it is the answer for everyone, just for me, for now. This is not a plea to quit asking me questions I've been asked 100 times before. I don't mind answering them. I just wanted to write the answers for my own clarification.

And the last question I get asked is "How do you get it all done?" The answer is I have no idea. Ethan will be working on math at the table while Libby is sitting on the couch doing a worksheet. Meanwhile Sam is trying to eat the eraser off the pencil Ethan is currently writing with while Grace is unloading the bookshelf.  My day is an exercise in chaos. But somehow by the end of the day we manage to get most everything done and if we don't we just pick up tomorrow where we left off today.

tl;dr I homeschool so my kids can learn at their own pace and I don't think I'm turning them into social misfits.