It's been hard lately. It just seems that I have so much to do. Little people are either yelling at me or hitting each other or whining at me. So I beat myself up. If I were a better mother they wouldn't yell so much. I must be doing something wrong if they think it's okay to hit each other. If I was more consistent about having them clean up, the house wouldn't be such a mess. If I didn't slip up and yell then they wouldn't learn to yell. If I could just be blessed perfect then everything would be so much easier.
I even called my single friend to complain. We have been best friends since high school and I needed to vent. I told her how Sam was yelling "Meanie butt!" at me in the middle of Winco and how I never get a single moment alone. She told me how she wished that, just occasionally, she had someone to help her make the hard decisions. I told her how I would love to make a single decision without having to weigh the wants and need of five other people. She said she would like someone to care if she comes home late. I don't think either of us won the badge for hardest life but we may have each got a gold star in our separate divisions. I was whiny. She was whiny. I don't think I felt much better but it was nice to know other people are having a hard time as well. Misery loves company.
I was still burned out and not able to take a break. Even if I can get an hour here or there or even a weekend to myself I still worry about everyone. Parents never get a real break.
This evening I was standing in the kitchen making cookies. Michael, Ethan, Libby, and Grace were outside picking tomatoes before it freezes tonight. That left me in the house with Sam. A naked Sam. Sam is always naked and today I didn't feel like putting his clothes back on him. He would have taken them off in five minutes anyway. In his defense, he wasn't completely naked. He was wearing a blue oven mitt. So a mostly nekkid Sam comes marching through the kitchen, pumping his arms up and down, saying "Zobot, wendy sis. Zobot, wendy sis." This translates to "Robot, twenty-six" I laughed. It was absurd. A moment I never envisioned when I was planning my perfect family, but it was a perfect moment in my not so perfect family. It was a moment that reminded me that I am happy with where I am. I even managed to have a pleasant exchange with the neighbor I met today. Robot 26 wandered outside into the cool evening. I knew he had stepped out so I finished putting the bowl in the sink and walked outside after him. There I met the neighbor who was staring at my house. She was debating coming up the walk to tell me I had a naked baby outside. She seemed to be a very nice lady.
Today I am thankful for the little moments that keep me sane.
Ahhhh....gotta go - Robot 26 just pooped on the floor. Literally.
3 comments:
That made me laugh so hard, I coughed.
Why can't we be neighbors? We should be. Think of all the fun we'd have homeschooling. And in the evening hours we could sit outside and commiserate. Plus- it would be a lot easier playing matchmaker in , oh, 8-10 years. But really, it would just be nice to have someone to whine with. :o)
I had to laugh, too. Robot 26 is just too darn cute! It's great to get those tender mercies that keep life worth living.
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