I've never felt inspired to run. I've walked, tried pilates, yoga and even Richard Simmons' videos. I've tried it all, but not running. I've seen all the girls run around town with their blonde ponytails swinging, and think, "Good for them, glad it's not me." And why do they always have swishy blonde ponytails? Do girls with swishy blonde hair just like running more? Is it in their DNA? The world may never know.
This June I started walking with some friends early in the morning. They assured me they primarily walked with only a little bit of jogging thrown in. I figured a little jogging wouldn't kill me. So 6am every other morning I crawled out of bed for a nice walk and a little jogging with three friends. After a few weeks two of the ladies decided on more jogging and less walking. My other friend and neighbor Caitlin and I plodded behind while watching their ponytails swish far ahead of us. The runners would occasionally circle around and check back on us. This was especially disheartening when I was fighting my way up the hill and they would run up it, run down to check on us, and then run back up the hill, all the while I'm trying to keep from hurling my cookies. Then the two runners decided to start training for a 1/2 marathon. I was still training to jog a mile without stopping.
Soon school started back up and schedules changed. Our jogging group started to dissolve. This would have been a good time to stop jogging. I don't like jogging. Everyone is busy. Yadadadada. But Caitlin and I, the non-runners, decided to keep going. We had already decided to jog a 5K and we were sticking with the plan. We get up three mornings a week, way earlier than I like, and jog.
Why do I do this? I don't like jogging. I don't like six in the morning. I don't like the cold. But there I am cold, tired, and jogging. I think what I really like is how it makes me feel about myself. I am always amazed when I jog just a little farther and a little faster than I thought possible. The first time I jogged a 5K without stopping, a few weeks back, I couldn't stop myself from telling everyone about it. (Proofreader's note: Everyone. Twice.)
The thing I really like about jogging is the chance it gives me to shed my roles (not rolls, I don't think I've lost any weight at all). For 40 minutes three times a week I am not a mother, or a wife, or a daughter. I feel like I'm just me. The hamster in the wheel of my mind sits still for a little bit. I'm not worried about cavities, or potty training, or children's literacy, or bickering children. I am not worried about dinner, or laundry, or budgets. Jogging gives me almost two hours a week where I can just worry about putting one foot in front of the other. It gives me a chance to remember who I am before I put on all my other roles for the day. It's a win-win for everyone. Happy Katie makes happy mama and happy mama makes the whole world run a little better.
So three days a weeks I scrape my decidedly unswishy hair back into a brown ponytail, put on my shoes and go. Tomorrow I am running in the first race I've ever voluntarily run. I'm running a 5K at Farmstead. Even if I place dead last, I will be impressed with myself. In July I couldn't even jog a mile without stopping and now at 33 I can run farther than at any point in my life. I'm even having strange fantasies of training for a 10K.
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